In Which I Freak Out

So the first cycle that we're off the bench and back from the self-imposed break, of course something happens. Of course it does. I had horrible cramping and just general discomfort in addition to all the loveliness that happens at the beginning of a new cycle. But I kept thinking - okay, bring it on, this could be the start of a great cycle. And then the cramping just kept going, and going, and going. I am now on CD11 and even though the "other stuff" has stopped, I am still feeling crampy and just general pressure in the center of my lower abdomen.

Since we just moved we're staying at my parents vacation house in the middle of nowhere, and so of course I don't have a doctor here. I didn't intend to find one until we found a house and settled down in a much larger city. I had been avoiding google like the plague, because I know looking up my symptoms will do nothing but add to my panic. But a glass of wine of Friday night meant that I went for it, and of course found nothing but horribly scary stuff. The diagnosis that matched my symptoms most accurately was uterine fibroids.

My Mom is a nurse so I bring this up with her the next day, and she says "that is what I had." Now - I knew that she had a hysterectomy after having me, but I thought that was some complication from childbirth and I knew she was done having kids at that point. I didn't know it was because of fibroids and I certainly didn't know she was 32 (ugh, 32!!!!) when it happened. I'll be 31 in three months. Cue deafcon five freak out...

So I was left with the decision, does it bother me enough to find a doctor here, knowing that I will only see this person for a month or two at most? Or do I just try and convince myself I am fine, not scared to death and not in pain for the next two months so I can find one doctor when we move and stick with her? Ultimately my reasons were dumb (I will have to forward more records, etc) and after a long talk with my incredibly understanding husband, I called today to make an appointment. They can't get me in until Monday the 8th, which seems like an eternity from where I am standing.

I am also wearing the OvWatch this cycle because peeing on those ovulation sticks makes me a little nuts, and usually on CD11 I am met with the happy "Fertile Day 1" message. Today? Nothing. If anyone is looking for me, I'll be the one muttering to myself and rocking back and forth in the corner.